@fruitloops

FruitLoops

FruitLoops

I'm in the bathroom of a Chipotle fighting for my fucking life rn. There's no toilet paper so I may as well take the time to make this metafy profile. Ever had a crush who was already taken? Want to know why he or she is with someone else and NOT you. It's because their BF/GF took the patented FRUITLOOPS METAFY. Not only will you become PHYSICALLY more attractive by taking my Metafy by default, you also get to basically feel good about yourself about donating to the little poor wifi DDD main that really needed another Steam game he wouldn't end up playing. Not only is it charity but you can also get coaching by the GREATEST smash player to have ever graced the sticks (I cannot be held liable under Section 43 of the Lanham Act so you cannot sue me if this is not the case). Due to your smash playing skills correlating to your self-worth I think my metafy would honestly solve every problem had everyone chosen me as their coach tbh. Other Awesome Reasons why I'm the Greatest and You Should Hire me to Coach you and Trust Me with your Credit Card Number: - I have made lots of upsets in wifi tournaments using Single Joycon. - Everytime I lost it's never actually been my own fault so you would get coaching from someone with exactly ZERO weaknesses in their play. - I do not have a Hungrybox Loss - I do not have an MKLeo Loss - My PGStats winrate is 81% (because I'm simply awesome DUH) - My GSP is like really really really really high - I know like a lot of facts about Pixar's Cars 2 - I spawn in the middle of every local specifically to get 2nd and lose to whatever California PR'd player shows up with a +2 mu or better on DDD (I will teach you mid-bracket spawning irl to better your chances of winning) So what are you waiting for? Look at a session and buy me! BUY ME! BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY! BUY A SESSION! DO IT NOW! BUY BUY BUY!


Live 1:1 sessions are calls with the expert during which they share their wisdom with you as you play.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

4 lessons
I have absolutely 0 qualifications to be a therapist I just like hearing people complain about shit in vc. The 5$ fee is to make sure that if someone were to hypothetically add me on discord and send me fucking Sonic Porn it would at least come at a price to pay for my own Therapy.

Amount

$5.00 USD

FAQ